UFC 127: Random Thoughts and Future Suggestions

Australia may be my favorite host city to watch a UFC take place in. The crowd is intense and you can practically feel the energy through the TV. The UFC tends to fill overseas cards up with mostly European and Australian fighters. Sometimes the cards lack star power and are almost considered afterthoughts to a lot of mainstream casual US fans. When I saw that Fitch would headline and Bisping would co-headline, I have to admit I wasn’t that excited for UFC 127. I’m not a big fan of either fighter and unfortunately I also figured both of them would win. I was right to pick both fighters to win but I was wrong about the overall entertainment value of this event. It ended up being a pretty damn good card.

The BJ/Fitch fight started out with Penn out-Fitching Fitch. This was the last thing that Fitch thought was going to happen and I think it surprised him so much that it actually worked. BJ even secured a takedown and worked his way into a backmount but to no avail as Fitch reversed position and worked a little ground and pound towards the end of the round. I had Penn winning this round easily. 10-9 Penn

Round 2 was a much more even round as each had their moments. I thought the most impressive strikes of the round were Penn’s short elbows that busted Fitch’s nose open. The grappling was pretty much even with both securing a take down but neither of them getting that much done afterwards. I gave round 2 to Penn but I wouldn’t have argued to much with anyone that gave the round to Fitch. 10-9 Penn

The third round Jon Fitch remembered that he was Jon Fitch and did what Jon Fitch usually does. He took Penn down early in the round and beat him up for 5 minutes. Fitch never gave Bj a chance to do anything but get punched in the face. As a Penn fan it was sort of depressing and hard to watch. I gave Fitch this round by utter domination. 10 - 8 Fitch

The judges agreed with me and the decision was a majority draw. If this fight was judged as a whole instead of round by round then Fitch would have won. The last round was so dominate that I’m pretty sure even Bj would admit that although the match resulted in a tie, he lost the fight. Considering I would usually rather watch flies fuck that watch a Jon Fitch fight, I thought this ended up being a hell of a war.

Michael Bisping and Jorge Rivera hated each before their fight and I’m pretty sure nothing has changed afterwards. Bisping used his wrestling to score points in the first round as the stand up was basically a wash. Rivera landed one good shot in the first but for the most part it was all Bisping including a vicious illegal knee that will be used as an excuse for Rivera’s loss. Although it was clearly illegal and I’m sure it hurt like a motherfucker, Rivera agreed to continue the fight when he didn’t have to. I’ve never been kneed in the face by a professional fighter so I will reserve judgement as to if it effected him later in the fight but Rivera should have called the fight if he thought it would impair his ability. Bisping survived a scare early in the second round and responded by beating the shit out of Rivera until the ref stopped it. The always classy Bisping celebrated by spitting on Rivera’s corner men and talking some shit to Rivera himself.

George Sotiropoulos may have been heavily favored and supported by his home country but it became painfully obvious early that he was fucked if he couldn’t get his fight with Denis Siver to the ground. Siver must have spent the last few months doing nothing but practicing his take down defense and it paid off with one of the biggest wins of his career. G-Sot has improved his standup greatly in the last few years but its still not at the level of Siver who won this fight rather handily. MMA is a game of matchups and I still think Sotiropoulus could possibly beat either Maynard or Edgar but that won’t matter for awhile because he won’t have that chance. Siver and his improved take down defense is a nightmare for fighters such as G-Sot who lack wrestling and rely heavily on their bjj skills to win fights.

Ebersole surprised everyone but himself and looked like he was having fun as he beat Chris Lytle. I don’t know how Lytle even survived after a savage knee in the second round sent him falling to the canvas. Eversole clearly won rounds 2 and 3 in an exciting fight.

Kyle Noke won the most impressive victory ever by a fighter coming out to a Men at Work song. He deserves a step up in competition after winning 5 in a row and 9 of the last 10.

Chris Tuchscherer reminds me of a fat Rick Flair and he did his best nature boy impersonation by bleeding all over the place. The uppercut knockout by Mark Hunt was a thing of beauty as he walked away immediately after landing the shot. The best line of the night was heard during this fight. Tuchscherer told the ref, “theres something hanging in front of my eye.” The ref responds, “that’s your eyelid.”

Fights that I would make:

• GSP is going to beat Jake Shields and probably vacate his belt to move up and challenge Silva at middleweight. GSP has said all along that once he moves up that he plans on staying at that weight regardless of the results of that fight. That means that the welterweight belt will need a new home so why not stage a tournament to decide who the next champion will be. Since both Fitch and Penn were promised a title fight with a win and neither of them won then why not let them both have first round byes in a 6 man tournament. I would match up Josh Koscheck and Carlos Condit with the winner taking on BJ Penn. I would then match up Jake Ellenberg and Thiago Alves with the winner taking on Jon Fitch. Everyone loves a good tournament and I think this would be a great way to hype up the eventual champion.
  
  
• Michael Bisping vs. Chael Sonnen - This would be a great first fight back for Sonnen and it would have an epic shit talking buildup. Put this fight in England and watch Sonnen receive the loudest negative reaction of all time. I think promising the winner a title shot after Okami would kill two birds with one stone. It would set up an eventual Silva/Sonnen rematch as well as remind Bisping that he isn’t a top 5 fighter.
  
  
• George Sotiropoulus vs. Donald Cerrone - I think this fight would tell us a lot about each fighter. Cerrone probably has better standup but wouldn’t be as hard for G-Sot to get to the ground as Siver was. Both fighters have very exciting ground games once it hits the floor.
  
  
• Denis Siver vs. Melvin Guillard - Siver deserves a step up in competition after his win over G-Sot and a Guillard fight would be dynamite. Under the guidance of Greg Jackson, Melvin could decide to fight smart and take Siver to the ground but chances are that he'd want to stand and bang.
  
  
• Mark Hunt vs Pat Barry - Pat Barry isn’t going to win a title anytime soon so why not put him in fights that fans would love to watch. This would be one hell of a kick boxing fight with 4 oz gloves.
  
  
• Chris Lytle vs. Dan Hardy - Both fighters will be hungry coming off a loss and would be looking to bring it.
  
  
• Brian Ebersole vs Brian Foster - In a battle of the Brians we will find out which Brian will continue to climb the ranks.

Charlie Sheen: The Happenings of a Gnarly Gnarlington

Hollywood is full of pretty boys who all talk, act, and try to play the same game. They hide behind a blanket of bullshit with cookie cutter answers to the same boring questions that 99 percent of reporters throw at them. Their agents and publicists work tirelessly around the clock to protect their star’s image so that the money will keep rolling in. Every so often the truth peaks out from behind the curtain and the public is horrified at the real person that has been hiding behind the facade. The public’s simple minds can’t believe that Mel Gibson is actually a jew hating misogynist and Lindsey Lohan is a lesbian coke whore. The careers of such stars are shattered before they even have the time to come up with a half assed excuse. The majority of famous people would curl up and disappear until the shit storm passes in hopes of reviving their careers somewhere down the line. Most stars would do almost anything to avoid the public knowing who they really are but every so often you find a man that doesn’t give a shit. Every so often you will come across a man who is so comfortable with their own awesomeness that they have no problem telling the whole world to lick their taint. Cincinnati Red's fan, Charlie Sheen, is that man.

Charlie Sheen may just be my hero. Here is a man who is worth more money than most third world countries and yet still goes balls to the wall every night of his life despite the fact that he makes most of his money on a family sitcom. Charlie Sheen doesn’t give a fuck about your family. You know what he cares about? Crack and whores. Lets take a look at a time line of his badass behavior:

1990 – Charlie Sheen checks himself into rehab for the first time. Later that year, Charlie broke up with then fiance, Kelly Preston, after accidentally shooting her in the arm.

1995 – Sheen testifies at Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss’ trial that he’s spent more than $50,000 on at least 27 different call girls. He admits that he has a penchant for hookers dressing up like cheerleaders.

1996 – Sheen was charged with attacking a girlfriend, pleaded no contest and was put on two-years probation.

1998 - His father, actor Martin Sheen, turned him in for violating parole after an alleged cocaine overdose sent him to the hospital. He was then ordered to undergo rehab. In related news, Martin Sheen turns out to be a pussy

2006 - Sheen splits from Denise Richards after 4 years of marriage. Richards files for divorce and claims that Sheen physically and verbally abused her and threatened to kill her. She files a restraining order against him after the divorce.

December 25, 2009 - Sheen threatened to kill his wife, Brooke Mueller, with a knife after she wanted a divorce in Aspen, Colo. After being arrested for the altercation, he told police he didn’t threaten to kill her, but was upset by the divorce threat. How can you really blame the guy?

August 2010 - Sheen pleads guilty in Aspen, Colo., to misdemeanor third-degree assault. He was sentenced to 30 days in rehab, 30 days of probation and 36 hours of anger management.

May 18 – After taking a short leave of absence from Two and a Half Men, things started looking up when Sheen signed an agreement for a two-year extension on Two and a Half Men, earning $1.25 mil per episode. Do you know how many hookers you can get with 1.25 million dollars a week? Charlie’s dick spends the next couple months celebrating

Oct. 26, 2010 – Despite being on vacation with his family, and ex-wife Denise Richards, Sheen reportedly attended a wild dinner with porn stars. Later, Sheen was removed from his Plaza Hotel suite in New York City around 2 a.m., after causing a disturbance when he allegedly lost a valuable watch. There was $7,000 of damage to the room, and a porn star keeping Sheen company reportedly locked herself in the bathroom. When the police arrive, Sheen is running around the hotel room naked yelling the word “nigger.” Sheen’s publicist tells reporters that he had an adverse reaction to medication. Apparently Charlie was prescribed cocaine and hookers to treat a sinus infection.

Jan. 14, 2011 – Sheen has a bender in Las Vegas, complete with a wild weekend reportedly spent with porn stars Bree Olsen, Bombshell McGee and Lindsay Sinai in his penthouse suite. After CBS failed to be able to reach him for his Two and a Half Men call time, he finally returned to his show late in the morning via private jet from Vegas. Anyone who follows Bree Olsen’s twitter feed knows that Charlie made a good decision this time around.

Jan. 27, 2011 - After spending the weekend partying and being generally badass, Charlie admits himself in the hospital for tummy aches.

Feb. 24, 2011 - Charlie goes on fellow nut job, Alex Jones’, radio show and gives us the privilege of hearing one of the greatest rants of all time which includes talking shit about everyone from the producer of his hit tv show to Thomas Jefferson.

As you can see, Charlie has been a very busy man the last 20 years. After the July 27th incident, one of Charlie’s sluts, Kasey Jordan, decided to be a yappy cunt and tell Howard Stern of Sheen’s master plan. Charlie is in the process of building the Noah’s Arc of porn palaces. He wants a black, blonde, brunette, asian, indian, etc. He has offered each one of them a Bentley, as well as, anything else their heart desires in order to stay at his house and fuck him whenever he has an inkling for pussy. As he explains his master plan to Kasey, she claims that he free bases a chunk of cocaine every 5 minutes or so. It turns out that smoking massive amounts of cocaine on a daily basis made Charlie look like this:

Kasey also claims in her interview that Charlie has the biggest porn collection that she has ever seen. Thats pretty impressive coming from a porn star. She said that they sat in his home theatre and watched porn together while he critiqued such things as camera angles. When Kasey started to fall asleep from the massive amounts of alcohol that was being consumed, Charlie romantically blew smoke in her face from his crack pipe. After some sloppy sex and a nice long shower, Kacey was out the door with a 30 thousand dollar check for her time.

Now that the true debauchery of Charlie’s life was made completely public, Sheen checked into rehab for a whole day. If that isn’t an honest commitment to sobriety then I don’t know what is. Now that Charlie was supposedly clean and sober, Two and a Half Men was scheduled to start taping again next week. That was before he made what could be the coolest phone call into a radio station of all time.

Yesterday, Charlie made a phone call to his friend and conspiracy theorist/radio host, Alex Jones. Not only did we learn that Charlie hangs out with fellow 1980’s mullet enthusiast, Lenny “Nails” Dykstra, but we also found out what Charlie thinks about various subjects.

To start off the interview, Charlie did his best to let the world know just how fucking sweet he is:

"I think it was Nails that said, and I was really flattered that he got it right, he might be Nails, but I'm bayonets. I'm battle tested bayonets... I'm so tired of pretending like my life isn't just perfect and just winning every second, and I'm not just perfect and bitching and just delivering the goods at every frickin' turn. Look what I'm dealing with, man. I'm dealing with fools and trolls. I'm dealing with soft targets, and it's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee … they lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, 'I can't process it.' Well, no, and you never will! Stop trying! Just sit back and enjoy the show."

I tend to agree with everything that he had to say so far. He does seem to deliver the goods and I do enjoy sitting back and watching the show. Not his sitcom but his fucked up life.

Charlie then waxes poetically about his bitches:

"Let me say this about the Goddesses, I don't think the term is good enough, but when you're bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best term available. So if you think about it dude, I'm 0-for-3 in marriage, but like in baseball, the scoreboard doesn't lie. Never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the hearts. And to sully, contaminate, or radically disrespect this unit with a shameful contract is something I'll leave to the amateurs and bible grippers."

Again, he has a point. He obviously wasn’t that good at marriage so why not just fuck anything that accepts a check.

So how is sobriety going for you Charlie?

"I have cleansed myself. I closed my eyes and in a nanosecond, I cured myself... It's the work of sissies. The only thing I'm addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math … another one of their mottoes is 'Don't be special, be one of us.' Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you! I have a disease? Bullshit! I cured it with my brain, with my mind. I cured it, I'm done … you don't look like you're having a lot of fun. I'm gonna hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view, Alex!"

Now thats how you own it bitches! AA is for pussies. Charlie isn’t a pussy and he won’t take your shit.

"I'm sorry, man, but I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time — and this includes naps — I'm an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground."

Did you hear that? He will destroy you in the air. He will deploy his ordinance to the ground. Smoking cocaine must be fucking awesome!

He then rambled on about vatican assassins and working for the pope to kill people. I won’t even try to figure out what he is talking about there but I’m sure its very important and over your head. He also finds time to call the creator of Two and a Half Men, Chuck Lorre, a turd and tell us how he embarrassed Lorre in front of his children by healing himself at a pace that Lorre’s unevolved mind couldn’t process. He later gets offended when Alex Jones compares him to Thomas Jefferson and informs us that Jefferson was a pussy and that he dares anyone to debate him. I don’t know about you, but I don’t plan on debating Sheen anytime soon.

Later last night after CBS decided to shut down the taping of Charlie’s hit sitcom, Sheen released a letter to TMZ that reads:

What does this say about Haim Levine [Chuck Lorre] after he tried to use his words to judge and attempt to degrade me. I gracefully ignored this folly for 177 shows ... I fire back once and this contaminated little maggot can't handle my power and can't handle the truth. I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words -- imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists. I urge all my beautiful and loyal fans who embraced this show for almost a decade to walk with me side-by-side as we march up the steps of justice to right this unconscionable wrong.
 
Remember these are my people ... not yours...we will continue on together...
 
Charlie Sheen

Please explain to me how Charlie Sheen isn’t the best thing to happen to Hollywood since...well....ever. You can’t. Charlie Sheen is the fucking man. He shouldn’t even go by the name Charlie Sheen anymore. I think he should go back to his original last name and be called Chucky Estevez. Now lets just hope that Chucky Estevez survives long enough to deliver us what is destined to be a cinematic classic in Hot Shots 3. Long live Chucky Estevez!

The Cincinnati Bengals: An Offseason to Forget and a Future to Consider

The Cincinnati Bengal’s 2011 offseason has gone exactly how a long time Bengals fan should expect their favorite team’s offseason to go. They kept a coach that would have been fired years ago in most cities. The franchise quarterback has threatened retirement if he isn’t traded. Their star receiver has challenged the coach to a cagefight. Despite their poor season, Mike Brown is threatening to sue a city that is already burdened with a large budget deficit if they don’t give him money to do such important stadium updates as put new carpet in the grounds crew office and replacing the draft beer system. If there is one thing that the Bengals are great at it is the ability to make their fans question their own rationale and intelligence for sticking with a team that continues to shit all over their hope and expectations year after year. With that being said, I can’t wait until next season!

I am the hopeful wife and the Bengals are my abusive husband. I am the friendly fat kid and the Bengals are that girl that fucks all my friends and never gives me a chance. I am the sexually pent up office manager and the Bengals are the dominatrix who I pay to shit on my face once a week just to feel alive. They could sign Screech to be the quarterback next year and I’d still probably pay 30 bucks to freeze my balls off and get drunk in a parking lot before paying another 70 dollars to go inside and stuff my face with 6 dollar hotdogs while pretending that Cincinnati actually has a professional football team. In other words, I may be slightly mentally retarded.

Now that I got the well deserved bitterness and pessimism out of the way, lets take a look at what the Bengals have going into next season and what I would do to improve their chances if given the power to do so.

Coaches:

I wouldn’t have gave Marvin Lewis a new contract. His game management decisions are borderline humorous, he seems to lack the ability to install discipline, and his media relations skills are nonexistent. This team could have really used a coach that wouldn’t take shit from the players but could also win back the fans with an encouraging attitude.

Getting rid of Bob Bratkowski was probably the only good thing the Bengals have done this offseason but they even handled that like an epileptic surgeon. They waited until all the top choices were gone and then decided to make a move even though it would have made sense to have the new coach installed before the Senior Bowl so he could have recruited players to fit into his offense. That would have been a good decision but we all know that Mike Brown avoids good decisions as much as I avoid anal rape.

Its hard for me to really evaluate Jay Gruden so I’ll give him a break until he actually calls an NFL game. We know he has the DNA to be a good coach but so did Dave Shula. Lets just hope he isn’t the Fredo of the family. I’ve heard that he plans on running a west coast offense which could be exciting but I don’t know if it will work in the NFC North.

Quarterback:

I’m not really sold on any of the QBs coming out in the draft this year. If Andrew Luck would have declared eligible for the draft then I would have had no problem letting Palmer go. I think the Bengals are stuck with Palmer for at least one more year but they better grab a backup quarterback in free agency just in case he actually retires. Seneca Wallace and Matt Hassleback would both be serviceable backups in case of emergencies. Don’t expect either to guide us to a playoff birth but either of them would be a serious upgrade from what we have now. I would also take a look at Kevin Kolb or Kyle Orton if a reasonable trade is available.

Running Back:

Cedric Benson gave the Bengals two good years and I think its time to say goodbye. I would take a shot at La’Ron McClain or Ricky Williams. Both are hard nosed runners who would pair well with Bernard Scott and cost a lot less money than Benson. Brian Leonard should be brought back after his miracle third and forth down efforts. I would also take a look at running back anywhere after the first round if there is good value when the Bengals pick comes up.

Wide Receiver/Tight End:

Goodbye Chad Johnson. The Bengals have managed to mess up damn near everything this offseason but if Chad is still your number one receiver when the season starts then that will be their biggest mistake. His mouth is getting bigger while his skills are starting to diminish. Caldwell and Simpson were very impressive at the end of the season when they were given their chance and I think they deserve more looks next season. Jordan Shipley looks like he will be a dependable third down/possession receiver for years to come. I would use the first round pick to take AJ Green. I think if Chad is gone and Carson has Green as a replacement that he will reconsider his retirement thoughts. I also think that Carson will be a much better quarterback without the TOcho show going on in the huddle between plays. I think we finally found our tight end in Jermaine Gresham. I’d like to see a little more out of Chase Coffman in what could be his last season as a Bengal if he doesn’t show something.

Offensive Line:

The Bengals line is a serious weakness. With the exception of Whitworth, I’d look to upgrade any position if the opportunity presents itself. This will be a make or break season for Andre Smith and I’m not to hopeful as far as that goes. I like Bobby Williams but he is getting old and this is probably his last year as a Bengal. I would use almost every round after the first to help build the line as well as take a serious look at available free agents. If you’re going to spend big money in free agency, the offensive line is a good place to start.

Defensive Line:

I’m pretty excited to watch the defensive line next year. Michael Johnson and Carlos Dunlap are my starting ends going into next year. Geathers becomes an overpaid backup. Peko holds down one of the defensive tackle positions with Simms and Atkins rotating at the other tackle position. I’m confident with this starting lineup and expect to see the sack numbers increase this year.

Linebackers:

Rey Maualuga would be my starting middle lineback next season. I think he improves the defense by playing his natural position. I like Dhani Jones and wouldn’t be opposed to bringing him back if he is available at the right price and is willing to be demoted to second string. Keith Rivers will keep his job even though I don’t think he will ever live up to expectations but the Bengals don’t really have much of a choice at the moment. Brandon Johnson should be brought back to play the other OLB position. I would take a look at Rocky McIntosh in free agency if the price is right.

Cornerbacks:

The Bengals need to do everything possible to bring back Jonathan Joseph. The Bengals have a good trio of cornerbacks with Joseph, Leon Hall, and Pacman Jones but the depth thins out pretty quickly after that. I’ll just cross my fingers and hope they sign Joseph and everyone stays healthy.

Safeties:

This may be the Bengals weakest position. Unfortunately there isn’t a top 5 safety in this year’s draft so the they will have to scramble to upgrade this position. Reggie Nelson was fun to watch but I don’t think he is a starter. Roy Williams is old and never healthy. Ndukewe probably shouldn’t be a starter in this league either but the Bengals may just bring him back because he is familiar with the defense. I would scour free agency and the draft for possible starters. I would consider trading down if possible in the first round for more picks if AJ Green isn’t available at 4.

Punter/Kicker:

I’m am comfortable with Kevin Huber as my punter for years to come. Cincinnati needs to find a consistent field goal kicker going into next season but there is no reason to break the bank in free agency on a kicker. If Mike Nugent can return from his knee surgery then the Bengals should be set.

Obviously, the Cincinnati Bengals have plenty of holes to fill and its not reasonable to expect them to fill all of their holes over the course of one off-season. They will have a relatively easy schedule next season so don’t be surprised to see them to have a substantially better record in 2011. Unfortunately Mike Brown is still the owner of this team, so with good reason, the pessimism will remain strong in Bengal’s country.

The Return of an Emperor

I don’t know if you know this or not, but a living legend is stepping into the cage this weekend and trading punches with a brazilian sasquatch. Thats right cocksuckers, Fedor is back and he is looking to reclaim his throne. Before GSP and Anderson Silva were dominating their respective divisions, Fedor was bashing faces and scalping skulls in Japan. He won 27 fights in a row with wins over 5 former UFC champions. He wasn’t just winning most of these fights, he was completely dominating them. MMA fanboys would cream their pants at the slightest mention of his name. Dana White did nearly everything besides blow his manager trying to get him to come to the UFC. All the while, Fedor still had time to shop for sweaters and enjoy a couple of ice cream cones.

All that seemed to come to an end last summer when Fabrico Werdum slapped a triangle on the ultra aggressive Russian and choke the mystique right out of Fedor. The sense of invisibility came to a crashing halt and all of a sudden, no one seemed to give a shit about him anymore. He is fighting this saturday night against a very game Antonio Silva and yet there seems to be little buzz in the air. MMA is very much a what have you done for me lately kind of sport but the lack of excitement for a Fedor fight is somewhat astonishing even considering his recent loss. Lets face it, when you get on the ground with a guy as talented as Fabrico Werdum the chances of survival are about as good as the chance that your girlfriend wouldn’t blow John Stamos if Uncle Jessie starts waving his dick in her face. Sorry guys, but the chances are your girl is going to have a Full Mouth. Fedor took a chance to finish the fight like he has done so many times before and got caught in the spider web that is Werdum’s guard. Shit happens in MMA. It just so happens that shit had never happened before with Fedor so most people didn’t know how to react.

The great thing about MMA is that everyone is beatable. It only takes a split second mistake and all of a sudden some crazy Brazilian is trying to bend your arm the wrong way or maybe you bob instead of weave and you run right into an overhand right causing you to wake up in a puddle of your own slobber and blood. Fedor was never invincible but that doesn’t mean he isn’t freakishly good. This weekend we will be treated to the return of a monster and I think he has something to prove.

The Fedor/Silva fight kicks off a hell of a heavyweight tournament which could really bring Strikeforce into the mainstream. Don’t sleep on Strikeforce if you enjoy watching highly trained people try to hurt each other. The UFC is by far the superior organization but there are some really good fighters and match ups to watch in Strikeforce. The winner of this tournament may have a real legitimate claim as the best heavyweight fighter in the world.

Fedor has came all the way from shitty-ass Russia where he spends his time armbarring brown bears and shadowboxing with wolves to prove once again that he is the fucking man. Tune in this weekend to Showtime to see how Emelianenko rebounds from the only real obstacle he has faced in his whole career. I have a feeling there are still a few more chapters to write in the legend of the Last Emperor.

UFC 126: Random thoughts and future suggestions

Anderson Silva is the monster under your bed. He is the peeping tom jerking off in your bushes. He is the vampire in your mother's vagina. In other words, he is everything that you do not want to encounter. He used a kick that he later said Steven Seagal helped him perfect to decapitate Victor Belfort. Did you hear that middleweight division? Steven fuckin' Seagal! Give up people. There is no beating this man. He is out for justice. He may be marked for death but the truth is, he is hard to kill. The middleweight division is under siege and that won't be changing anytime soon.

Jon Jones made another good fighter look like an amateur. Jones is a freak of nature that is going to rule the light heavy weight division for years to come. He made an all-american college wrestler look like he had never completed a double leg in his life. I think Jones gets a reality check in his next fight though. The brazilians don't put up with snitches and Shogun is going to make Jones regret ratting out the potheads to the hall monitor in the dormitories. If Jones stands with Shogun, it will not end good. If Jones listens to the Phil Jackson of mma, Greg Jackson, and uses his wrestling and top control, a belt could be wrapped around his waist at 23 years of age in one of the toughest divisions in all of sports.

The Forrest/Franklin fight didn't up being the brawl that I thought it would be but I think it showed a lot about each guy. Forrest was just too big for Ace and stuck to a great game plan to use that advantage as much as possible. Franklin looked slow and gun shy by the third round. I wouldn't be surprised if Franklin retires in the next year or so.

Kid Yamamoto joins a long list of japanese fighters that fail to live up to the hype that they bring with them from Japan.

Jake Ellenberger will hopefully get his fight with Jon Fitch after BJ beats Fitch. (fingers crossed)

Rocha will bounce back from his loss and surprise some people in the welterweight division.

Cerrone and Torres made successful debuts tonight. I've seen more exciting fights from both of them but expect them to continue to make waves in their respective divisions.

Fights that I would make:

• Anderson Silva vs. Shogun Rua - I know that the UFC is really hoping to put the GSP/Silva fight together but I think Silva/Rua is a better fight.
• Jon Jones vs. Forrest Griffin - Jones is only 23 years old. He has destroyed everyone he has faced so far but he has also yet to face a top 5 fighter. Although I think he has a good chance at winning the belt from Shogun, I think the UFC would be better off building up his mystique a little longer. Forrest is basically the gate keeper to the top 5 of the light heavyweight division and would be a great test for Jones at this point in his career.
• Ryan Bader vs. Matt Hamill - I see these guys as being equals in the lhw division and think this could be an exciting fight with their wrestling negating each other and both of them having heavy hands.
• Miguel Torres vs. Demetrious Johnson - Johnson will push Torres into showing off the talent that helped Miguel run wild on the bantamweight division in the past.
• Jake Ellenberger vs. the loser of Penn/Fitch - Either fighter will be a step up for Jake.
• Donald Cerrone vs Nate Diaz - I know that Diaz is fighting at welterweight right now but this would be a hell of a fight and a great rivalry just waiting to happen.
• Rich Franklin vs. loser of Rampage/Thiago Silva - Rich is still a big name and deserves top notch competition. I don't see him winning a title ever again in his career so I'd like to see him go out with some big name, exciting matches.
• Vitor Belfort vs. Wanderlei Silva - This would be a fun fight that could co-headline the UFC's upcoming card in Brazil.

UFC 126 Predictions

Anderson Silva vs. Vitor Belfort - If Anderson avoids an early knockout he will win this in the later rounds. Vitor has never been great at overcoming adversity in fights and I think Anderson’s head movement and footwork combined with the best counter striking in the sport will be to much for Belfort to deal with. This will be an exciting fight regardless because Vitor only knows how to go forward and Anderson is at his best when being pressed by an opponent. Slight chance than Belfort connects with a devastating shot and scores the upset but seeing how Anderson has never been knocked out in his career, I don’t see that happening.

Forrest Griffin vs. Rich Franklin - This is such a toss up because they are so similar in style. I expect this fight to go the distance regardless of who wins it. Neither fighter is really known for his knockout power but I would give the punching power edge to Franklin despite his size disadvantage. Both are very well rounded and can hold their own on the ground but I would be shocked if this ended in a submission. Forrest probably has the better offensive bjj game but both are very good at defensive bjj. I doubt this fight ever hits the ground. I’ll pick Forrest because he is bigger, younger, and uglier but it could go either way.

Jon Jones vs. Ryan Bader - Jon Jones wins this fight but it won’t be as easy as some are predicting. Ryan Bader is the real deal and will be a top 5 light heavy weight for years to come. Jones has yet to show a dent in his game though and I don’t think Bader has the striking to expose Jones. I think the person that can beat Jones is someone with great striking and good defensive wrestling. Maybe Rampage or Machida but not Bader. Bader is still very green with his striking although his wrestling is top notch. Jones has holes in his technical striking game but tends to make up his lack of technical skills by being completely unpredictable and creative. Jon Jones may not be unbeatable but Ryan Bader will not be the man to knock his hype train off the rails.

Jake Ellenberger vs. Carlos Eduardo Rocha - Rocha is still a relative unknown to many UFC fans, myself included. He is undefeated with all but one of his wins coming in the first round. 8 out of 9 fights have been won by submission. He is taking a huge step up in competition fighting Ellenberger in only his second UFC fight. If he wins he will catapult himself into the middle of a very tough welterweight division. Ellenberger will have the eye of the tiger tonight after the UFC fucked him over by giving him an unknown instead of the Jon Fitch fight that was previously scheduled. Jake Ellenberger may be the most underrated fighter in the WW division and I see him grinding out a workmanlike decision.

Miguel Torres vs. Antonio Banuelos - Banuelos trains at The Pit with John Hackleman which basically means the dude is tougher than shit. He makes up for his lack of technical skills with his all out style and big heart. Torres should be to much for him though and I expect Miguel to secure a submission during a scramble in the 2nd or 3rd round. Should be an exciting fight.

Paul Kelly vs Donald Cerrone - Cerrone is one of my favorite WEC imports and I expect him to win this fight relatively easy. This looks to be somewhat of a showcase fight for one of the UFC’s new lightweight stars.

Demetrious Johnson vs Kid Yamamoto - Kid is one of the biggest stars in Japan and was once the top fighter at 135 pounds. I think he may be past his prime as shown in his last few fights and I expect Johnson to pull off what many would consider an upset. Johnson is so fun to watch and would probably be the best 125 pound fighter in the UFC if they made that division. Kid will be much bigger come fight time but until the Japanese fighters prove they can come over here and perform the same as they do in Japan, I will have to pick against them. I’m racist against asians though so maybe you shouldn’t listen to me.

Other winners tonight include:

Mendes, Taylor, Piece, and Romero.