The Cincinnati Bengal’s 2011 offseason has gone exactly how a long time Bengals fan should expect their favorite team’s offseason to go. They kept a coach that would have been fired years ago in most cities. The franchise quarterback has threatened retirement if he isn’t traded. Their star receiver has challenged the coach to a cagefight. Despite their poor season, Mike Brown is threatening to sue a city that is already burdened with a large budget deficit if they don’t give him money to do such important stadium updates as put new carpet in the grounds crew office and replacing the draft beer system. If there is one thing that the Bengals are great at it is the ability to make their fans question their own rationale and intelligence for sticking with a team that continues to shit all over their hope and expectations year after year. With that being said, I can’t wait until next season!
I am the hopeful wife and the Bengals are my abusive husband. I am the friendly fat kid and the Bengals are that girl that fucks all my friends and never gives me a chance. I am the sexually pent up office manager and the Bengals are the dominatrix who I pay to shit on my face once a week just to feel alive. They could sign Screech to be the quarterback next year and I’d still probably pay 30 bucks to freeze my balls off and get drunk in a parking lot before paying another 70 dollars to go inside and stuff my face with 6 dollar hotdogs while pretending that Cincinnati actually has a professional football team. In other words, I may be slightly mentally retarded.
Now that I got the well deserved bitterness and pessimism out of the way, lets take a look at what the Bengals have going into next season and what I would do to improve their chances if given the power to do so.
Coaches:
I wouldn’t have gave Marvin Lewis a new contract. His game management decisions are borderline humorous, he seems to lack the ability to install discipline, and his media relations skills are nonexistent. This team could have really used a coach that wouldn’t take shit from the players but could also win back the fans with an encouraging attitude.
Getting rid of Bob Bratkowski was probably the only good thing the Bengals have done this offseason but they even handled that like an epileptic surgeon. They waited until all the top choices were gone and then decided to make a move even though it would have made sense to have the new coach installed before the Senior Bowl so he could have recruited players to fit into his offense. That would have been a good decision but we all know that Mike Brown avoids good decisions as much as I avoid anal rape.
Its hard for me to really evaluate Jay Gruden so I’ll give him a break until he actually calls an NFL game. We know he has the DNA to be a good coach but so did Dave Shula. Lets just hope he isn’t the Fredo of the family. I’ve heard that he plans on running a west coast offense which could be exciting but I don’t know if it will work in the NFC North.
Quarterback:
I’m not really sold on any of the QBs coming out in the draft this year. If Andrew Luck would have declared eligible for the draft then I would have had no problem letting Palmer go. I think the Bengals are stuck with Palmer for at least one more year but they better grab a backup quarterback in free agency just in case he actually retires. Seneca Wallace and Matt Hassleback would both be serviceable backups in case of emergencies. Don’t expect either to guide us to a playoff birth but either of them would be a serious upgrade from what we have now. I would also take a look at Kevin Kolb or Kyle Orton if a reasonable trade is available.
Running Back:
Cedric Benson gave the Bengals two good years and I think its time to say goodbye. I would take a shot at La’Ron McClain or Ricky Williams. Both are hard nosed runners who would pair well with Bernard Scott and cost a lot less money than Benson. Brian Leonard should be brought back after his miracle third and forth down efforts. I would also take a look at running back anywhere after the first round if there is good value when the Bengals pick comes up.
Wide Receiver/Tight End:
Goodbye Chad Johnson. The Bengals have managed to mess up damn near everything this offseason but if Chad is still your number one receiver when the season starts then that will be their biggest mistake. His mouth is getting bigger while his skills are starting to diminish. Caldwell and Simpson were very impressive at the end of the season when they were given their chance and I think they deserve more looks next season. Jordan Shipley looks like he will be a dependable third down/possession receiver for years to come. I would use the first round pick to take AJ Green. I think if Chad is gone and Carson has Green as a replacement that he will reconsider his retirement thoughts. I also think that Carson will be a much better quarterback without the TOcho show going on in the huddle between plays. I think we finally found our tight end in Jermaine Gresham. I’d like to see a little more out of Chase Coffman in what could be his last season as a Bengal if he doesn’t show something.
Offensive Line:
The Bengals line is a serious weakness. With the exception of Whitworth, I’d look to upgrade any position if the opportunity presents itself. This will be a make or break season for Andre Smith and I’m not to hopeful as far as that goes. I like Bobby Williams but he is getting old and this is probably his last year as a Bengal. I would use almost every round after the first to help build the line as well as take a serious look at available free agents. If you’re going to spend big money in free agency, the offensive line is a good place to start.
Defensive Line:
I’m pretty excited to watch the defensive line next year. Michael Johnson and Carlos Dunlap are my starting ends going into next year. Geathers becomes an overpaid backup. Peko holds down one of the defensive tackle positions with Simms and Atkins rotating at the other tackle position. I’m confident with this starting lineup and expect to see the sack numbers increase this year.
Linebackers:
Rey Maualuga would be my starting middle lineback next season. I think he improves the defense by playing his natural position. I like Dhani Jones and wouldn’t be opposed to bringing him back if he is available at the right price and is willing to be demoted to second string. Keith Rivers will keep his job even though I don’t think he will ever live up to expectations but the Bengals don’t really have much of a choice at the moment. Brandon Johnson should be brought back to play the other OLB position. I would take a look at Rocky McIntosh in free agency if the price is right.
Cornerbacks:
The Bengals need to do everything possible to bring back Jonathan Joseph. The Bengals have a good trio of cornerbacks with Joseph, Leon Hall, and Pacman Jones but the depth thins out pretty quickly after that. I’ll just cross my fingers and hope they sign Joseph and everyone stays healthy.
Safeties:
This may be the Bengals weakest position. Unfortunately there isn’t a top 5 safety in this year’s draft so the they will have to scramble to upgrade this position. Reggie Nelson was fun to watch but I don’t think he is a starter. Roy Williams is old and never healthy. Ndukewe probably shouldn’t be a starter in this league either but the Bengals may just bring him back because he is familiar with the defense. I would scour free agency and the draft for possible starters. I would consider trading down if possible in the first round for more picks if AJ Green isn’t available at 4.
Punter/Kicker:
I’m am comfortable with Kevin Huber as my punter for years to come. Cincinnati needs to find a consistent field goal kicker going into next season but there is no reason to break the bank in free agency on a kicker. If Mike Nugent can return from his knee surgery then the Bengals should be set.
Obviously, the Cincinnati Bengals have plenty of holes to fill and its not reasonable to expect them to fill all of their holes over the course of one off-season. They will have a relatively easy schedule next season so don’t be surprised to see them to have a substantially better record in 2011. Unfortunately Mike Brown is still the owner of this team, so with good reason, the pessimism will remain strong in Bengal’s country.
